Saturday, June 6, 2009

Introducing...

Grant, our fearless captain. A military veteran born in the land down under, Grant is our newly tapped resource of all things brilliant, adventurous, and slightly insane. I have been here only 3 days and have already heard quite the earful of adventure stories in between a boundless supply of sailing tips. Having an affinity for misplacing the most important items at the least convenient times, Grant has convinced himself that the ship is cursed and its devious spirit is on the prowl. To keep us humble, of course.

Friday night: I awoke to Grant pacing up and down the cabin cursing. "F**king C**t of a boat, f**king damned curse keeps me in the bay all damn spring." He pounds on the navigation console in a fit of frustration. I take this as a sign that everything is fine, and go back to sleep.

Alex leaps up, eager beaver. "Whatcha looking for Grant?"

"F**king mozzies are in and I can't get a wink, the cols were here I know there were. Blasted cursed boat is toyin again..."

For those that don't speak Australian, mozzies are mosquitoes and the coils are a slow burning incense that keep mozzies at bay. Due to the large mozzie population, we all look like we've caught a mild case of chicken pox. I did not know that a more obnoxious species existed than little brother, but here they are, buzzing about Key Biscayne Bay, South Miami.

"I always put them here, right! here!" Grant continued, near tears.
"But the boat has gotten them and brought the mozzies...
I've been in the bay since February! I can't sleep!!"

"Hey, here they are." Alex announced proudly as he lit up the coil.

I then proceeded to slap myself in the face, barely missing the mosquito.
And justice reigned down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream that would drown every mosquito within 200 yards.


Goodnight.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey y'all! Sorry to hear about those mosquitoes.. thought I'd throw it out there, vitamin b1 (in cereal, eggs, meat and some veggies) is really good at keeping mosquitoes at bay. If you can get your hands on a b1 supplement, that would be ideal but if not its pretty easy to get in cereal, wheat, eggs, beans and pork!

best of luck
Jenny

Anonymous said...

Hey Topher- We told Alex in the backyard garden to take note of those mock oranges on our tree while he was too busy taking more photos. Rubbing one of those on will keep mosquitoes away completely for over 8 hours-even Mike Mcgraf on 90.9 FM talks about it. There were several that he could have taken with him. Too late now. Also, white vinegar takes pain out of bites like sea urchins, etc. ( a treatment that I learned studying with a military doctor in the islands). Also, a benedryl rub on stick added to vinegar will let you get relief for at least 4 to 5 hours. My best friend is from down-under! I guess Alex will learn alot from the captain! We even had a mosquito net I could have loaned you. Oh well! Hope you enjoy the day. Stay safe.

isee3dtoo said...

First, Avon Skin-So-Soft you can get it as a sun screen and it will chase away the mozzies.

Second, I told you guys you would be constantly wet, glad to see you got wet weather gear.

Dr. Alaways